This makes us "real" parents...

We are entering a new era of our parenthood--we officially have a swingset in our backyard!  That, among having a mini-van, has really confirmed that we are a family with littles.  Not having a swingset with one child was easy because we could just zip to the park on our bikes.  Having a baby changed that--and we found that having our own little piece of the park in our backyard advantageous.

This is how it started....looks rather daunting.

Rory was SO happy to help and be able to use tools.  I hope he remembers these memories with his Dad and Grandpa.

Rory was a tad disappointed when he realized that the swingset was going to take longer than an hour or so to complete.  He did jump right in and help out and by the end of the weekend he was swing ready!  He loves it and I love being able to walk right out the backdoor so he can play!

Andrew James

I wanted to get this out of my head before I forget it altogether.  Andrew's arrival was only somewhat eventful because he came a little earlier than expected!

Rory was born at 39 weeks and 4 days, Andrew decided to up the ante and was born at 38 weeks and 4 days.  I had a repeat c-section scheduled for March 2nd but it wasn't going to happen.

The past month or so I had been dealing with the typical pregnancy insomnia.  I'd wake up around 2:30am every morning and lay there for a few hours before drifting back to sleep.  I had decided no more of that--I was just going to get up and do some laundry, read, or waddle around the house getting something done.

I'm certain Andrew's arrival starts on February 26th, which is my birthday.  I was hoping for a little birthday buddy...little did I know how close it would actually come.  We spent Thursday night with our Life Group from church--an amazing group of people we wouldn't trade for the world.  That night had been particularly funny and we all laughed until we cried.  I remember sitting there thinking, "It would be so funny if my water broke here at the kitchen table!"  After a solid hour of laughing, we left our group to go home...and I remember feeling a ton of pressure.

At 2:30 that morning I woke up, nothing new there.  I decided to grab a snack and catch up on a few shows I had dvr'd.  Josh had bought me chocolate chip bagels with cream cheese from Panera (my fav!!) for my birthday the day before.  Rory didn't eat all his so it seemed appropriate to polish off the rest.  Who would know? Ha!

At 3:30 I thought I should lay back down and as I was walking to put my dishes in the sink, I felt that rush...my water had broken.  My first thought was, "Shoot--I just ate a bagel!"  Rory came via c section and Andrew was scheduled to come that way, which means no eating or drinking at least 8 hours before hand.  I had no idea how this would influence the rest of my day!

We arrived at the hospital around 5:30 where the nurses confirmed my water had broken.  I explained that I had eaten a bagel before my water had broken--it went in my chart and every nurse thereafter, during shift changes explained to the next nurse, I had, indeed, eaten a bagel.  How embarrassing!  I felt the need to explain that I had eaten before my water had broke.

Huge thank you to Aunt Sue for coming to stay with Rory that morning and huge thanks to my parents who came up early to help out and watch Rory.

Due to the bagel...I had to wait 8 hours from the time I ate it so I wasn't scheduled to go to surgery until 10:00.  We had hours to kill...literally.  We watched the Today show in triage...and then we were moved to recovery because triage was getting full.  It was kind of a bummer because there are no TVs there.  Josh had packed the iPad so we pulled up Netflix and watched Ragamuffin.  (A great movie if you are a Rich Mullins fan.)

9:00am...The time was getting close, so Josh double checked the camera to make sure it was working--and it was until he checked it.  Our camera was great but it was old so during Josh's check one of the tiny little metal pins that attached to the flash card broke.  Ah!  We had an hour to go and if I thought Josh had time, I would have sent him to buy a camera.  We were so bummed--I say this only so you understand why our pictures are kind of stinky the first day.

Just a few minutes after 10:00am I was being wheeled into the OR.  It's such a weird feeling being so awake and alert, hearing all the noise and chatter, smelling disinfectant and cleanliness.  I was super nervous about the spinal--I didn't like the feeling (I can't imagine who would) but overall it went great and I can't complain.  At 10:43, Andrew James was born!  He weighed in at 7 pounds 6 ounces and 20.5 inches long.  (He actually didn't have a name until we were in recovery awhile!)  When I first saw him, I couldn't help but think he looked just like Rory.  It's amazing to have 2 little boys!

Yes, sadly, this is the best picture we have.

I think Rory was pretty in awe of all the goings and happenings at the hospital.  This was not long after we were settled in our room.  I actually, don't remember this at all.  I'm fairly certain I was given some pretty hefty painkillers, so the rest of the afternoon is quite a blur.

Enjoying a round or two of Go Fish while the babe sleeps.   

This is one of my favorite pictures--Andrew looks like a little Cabbage Patch doll to me.  So sweet.

Thus far, being a mom of 2 is about as challenging as I expected it to be.  I know once we get a good rhythm down and everyone starts sleeping more things will be smooth sailing.  Rory seems to enjoy Andrew...always makes sure he has a blanket or a pacifier and wants to help out by feeding or holding him.  By no means do I want to wish time away, but I am curious to see how the relationship between these two blossom.

Welcome to the family Andrew James!

What I know 30 years later...

There were many things that have stressed me out about this birthday.  And stressed probably isn't the correct word anyway because it is what it is and I'm OK with that.  I felt like I'd be wearing a banner around that announced my graduation to the next age bracket. Maybe because it's a huge leap from being a young adult to just an adult.  It could have to do with the fact that when I fill out surveys now, I'm no longer in the 20-29 range.  There is something about not being in my 20's anymore that makes me feel less youthful...and if I had any cool factor before I'm pretty sure it might be gone now.

I am by no means old (right?) but there are a few things I've noticed these past 30 years:

1. Some people don't make it to this mile-stone and I am ever so thankful that I have.  In my graduating class alone, sadly, there are too many that have not gotten to celebrate this day, or rather their day.

2.  This feels weird, but it is OK.  Sometimes when I hear people talk about college-agers or early 20-somethings I instantly think, "Oh, so they are about my age."  BUT, there is usually a big difference between someone who is 21 and 29+.  The difference is OK--it's just a difference, not good or bad.  I think so much can happen in those 10 years that can define and change each person.

3.  I am now just an adult.  Plain. Simple.  Adult.  Secretly, I hope and love when people call me a young lady, sweetheart, girl, or honey.  Some are offended by it but I see it as still being youthful.  When people start calling me ma'am--well, that is an entirely different mile-stone that shouldn't come for many, many, many years!

4.  I may be 30 (there I said it) but I will always be my Mom and Dad's little girl.  They text me often, check to see how I am, and after I drive to visit, well, they have my drive home timed...and my cell phone starts ringing the moment I pull off the highway ramp, "Just checking to make sure you made it home OK...."  It's good to be someones little girl.

5.  I've come to terms with the fact that I'll never be allowed to hold the communion tray at church by myself.  I'm not sure how it all started, probably people being helpful but it never fails--no matter who sits next to me, they hold on to it.  If I have a person on each side each one holds onto the tray until the person on my other side has a firm grip.  If I'm sitting by myself, the usher retains his grip.  I wonder if I  have the look that says, "yup, that girl is going to spill the grape juice everywhere."  For the record, I've never spilled any or dropped as much as one cracker.

6.  Drama--I didn't have time for it 10 years ago and I have even less now.  I'm not into drama, pot-stirring, digging things up or getting people going.  I just want everyone to be happy and loved.  Is that too much to ask?  Spending time with each other is just too important--it's important to encourage and lift-up, not tear down.

7.  This decade has brought on more personal confidence than I thought possible.  Some of this could be moving to an entirely different city and finding my way here but I'm doing things I wouldn't have pictured myself doing before, in high school, college or early adult.  A few months back I was on stage at our church talking...it was only 30 seconds but I still did it.  It took lots of prayer but not something I would have done 5 or even 10 years ago.  I've gone out of my way to talk to people I don't know, invite people for lunch to make new friends, and genuinely forge relationships with new people.  I think I've solidified more of who I am and who I want to be than any other time in my life.   I don't want to be scared of other people, meeting new friends or trying new things.   I don't want to have regrets and look back in 20 years and wish I wouldn't have been such a weenie about things.  Mostly, being moved out of my comfort zone was terrifying at first but I've learned once I'm out of "the safe zone"--well, it's kind of nice out here and I like it.

8.    The past couple years has brought on more confidence in mothering.  It's a hard job--and I feel like the first year, all people do is give you advice on what you should or should not do.  The only unsolicited advice I'll give new moms is, "People will give you all sorts of advice on what you should or should not do with your new baby, but God gave you this baby and he will also equip you to be a good mother.  Seek advice from only those you really trust."  I've honed in on my own mothering instinct and I follow that.  I've surrounded myself with Moms that have great advice and show what being a Godly mother looks like.  Whether you have 1 or 19 all mothers get stares and silent judgement but I've learned to ignore that.  I'm doing the job God trusted me to do and I'm doing the best I can.

9.  I'm certainly not where I thought I'd be--and thank God for that!!  If you had asked me as a senior in high school where I would be when I was 30 it would not be where I am at now.  I had big plans to move up the corporate ladder as an accountant, have an assistant, a nice little sports car with personalized tags, and a nice paycheck to go with it.  I envisioned myself traveling for my job and being "really important."  I was going to be that lady in the airport, catching a plane in a black suit and heels, carrying my designer bag and computer.  I'm really not any of that--I did graduate with a Bachelor's in Accounting and worked as an accountant for nearly 7 years but that is where the similarities end.  I push a stroller through the airport, wearing slip on crocs (they are very practical), carrying a book bag full of cheddar bunnies and fruit snacks.  I don't have an assistant, I am the assistant.   I drive a mini-van (which is a long story on its own).  I'm content with the paycheck I have.  I'm not important to hundreds of people at a corporation but I am important to a few people.  I'm important to God--and most importantly, I've learned to see my value and worth through Him.  He loves me no matter what I'm carrying at the airport, if have an assistant or I am the assistant.  He's not ashamed that I drive a mini-van.  He is proud of what I have accomplished, not of what I thought I could accomplish.  He values all 30 of my years and so do I.

So we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way
That he loves us!

-John Mark McMillan

So today I did what any normal 30 year old would do--took my son to Chuck-e-Cheese!  Ha!  Rory could not understand why in the world we would not go there for my birthday.  He had a blast--and I've realized (we will make this #10) as a Mom I have more fun watching my family and others have fun than doing something just for me.  We had a blast and I wouldn't change one minute of it!

He is a bit like his Mama....

Oh my son---his imagination can get him into trouble.  He is always turning a chair, box, kitchen stool or bench into some sort of adventure.  Typically, it's an airplane, train or wagon to drive horses.  This particular time it was a rocket ship.  We were getting ready to walk out the door when I hear, "I'm stuck!"  

I'm flashing back 27 years ago to Sawyer Point in Cincinnati.  Our extended family was looking at the Ohio river and I couldn't see over the railing--so I did what any 3 year old would do.  I forced my head through the rails and voila--I had a great view of the river!  I can still remember the view but I don't remember much after that, other than crying.  I must have blocked out the traumatic event.  Somehow, my parents pushed my head back through the rails.  I lived another day to tell and I'm sure got into more shenanigans.

I have no idea how Rory got his head stuck in this chair.  Logically, it looks like there is no way for his head to fit through.   I didn't really even try pushing it back through.  Above, I'm just cupping his little face trying to get him calmed down because he was going into a full on panic.   I had Josh take a few pictures because 1-I knew he wasn't in grave danger so it was a little but comical and 2-someday when his son or daughter sticks his head through something and gets stuck he will have this little memory to look back on.  I'm a good Mom like that...

In the end, I pulled his body up through the chair--he had to suck his little tummy in and curve his legs but he made it out unscathed.  He will live another day and I'm sure will get into many more shenanigans.

Introducing...our nephew!

Since Thanksgiving of last year we have been awaiting the arrival of this sweet precious baby!  We didn't know if a boy or girl was coming and I have to admit that I had my bets on a girl.  Maybe because I'd really like to buy some dresses and hair bows!  But, it's a BOY and we are thrilled to be an Aunt and Uncle. 

Carl Daniel was born on June 2nd at 4:04 pm weighing 7 pounds and 14 ounces!  He wasn't expected to be here but came early!  I thought he might make it for our wedding anniversary but he was even earlier than that.

Maybe I am a bit partial but he is already my favorite and most handsome nephew!  His Mom (Josh's sister) and Dad are doing a wonderful job of being parents!

Even though Rory is just 3 it's amazing how quickly you forget the "newborn stage" but it all came flooding back to me.  I even changed a poopy diaper and I forgot how little those newborn diapers are and how fast you need to have the next diaper ready!

We all enjoyed some snuggle time-including Rory, who asked in the car before our visit if we could sing Happy Birthday to Carl.  We did and I'm sure Carl didn't know what was happening but something I will remember for a long time.

I thought Rory would be concerned that I was holding another baby but it didn't phase him one bit.  There were pizza and cupcakes to be eaten and poor Uncle Dan got worked over a bit!  Rory was fascinated with Carl's hair and head and he kept touching him.  Occasionally, when Carl would squeak I'd hear Rory lovingly coo or shush at him.  It was pretty neat to see the two of them and I hope they grow up to be great buddies!

Rory and Josh helped collect the eggs at the farm.  This was the first time I had seen any of the chickens.  You can read all about them here.  We even heard Fumm give his most valiant effort at a crow but he still needs some work!  It was quite hilarious to say the least!

I know that these are truly the best days of our lives and I want to remember these moments when our babies really are babies.  We couldn't be happier to have a nephew and Rory is excited to have another boy to play with!  It will be exciting to see them grow up together and not only be friends but family.

Embracing the Changes...

About a week ago at work, I went to the bathroom.  While washing my hands I leaned close to the mirror and then it hit me like a ton of bricks.  There it was, in all it's glory--a gray hair.  This wasn't like "oh, could that be a particularly shiny piece of hair?"--nope, it was a real gray hair, and not a short one either so I'm not sure how it hid from me for so long.  Do you see it?  It's at least 4 inches long.

                                                 

Initially, I panicked and made a mental note to call the salon asap to inquire about how much highlights costs and then panicked a little more when I realized I had a dentist appointment that afternoon.  Surely, the hygienist was bound to notice the billboard attached to my head that screamed, "look at her first gray hair!"

At the dentist I felt obliged to acknowledge that yes, I did indeed know that I had a big gray hair but then regretted it because she didn't notice until after I told her.  At that point I was pretty sure NASA could see it from the International Space Station.  My hygienist is very nice and offered to pull it out for me but I knew Josh would want to see it so I declined.  What are spouses for if we can't make fun of each other aging?

That has been over 2 weeks ago and I still haven't pulled it out.  The topic of my hair came up at the dinner table tonight (I brought it up not Josh) and I told Josh I wasn't going to pull it.  He thought I should.  I think it's funny but I just can't bring myself to do it.  Now that the initial shock of having a gray hair (and I'm certain there are more I just haven't found them) has worn off I'm embracing it--I didn't even call the salon to find out how much highlights cost!

In some ways it feels like yet another initiation into womanhood or motherhood.  I'm proud of it. Maybe it's a sign that I'm moving on in the next chapter of life.  Instead of being the "young" woman or "young" mother, I'm now just a woman or mother and I'm OK with that.  In a way, I kind of like it.  Is that weird?

For now, the hair is staying.  Now, should a whole crop appear I may re-evaluate the situation! Ha!

What do you do about your gray hairs?