Deck the Halls-Part 2

Christmas lights purchased and now we can move forward to decorate the tree!  Andrew found my nesting dolls--I've had them since I was a little girl.  For some reason they do seam magical and mesmerizing!

I love this picture because it captures Rory and Andrew's personality perfectly!

Rory was SO excited to put the angel on the tree.  With some much needed help from Dad, he topped the tree beautifully!

It took us 2-3 days to get the house decorated and this year our tree was a hot mess.  Only 20 or so ornaments on the top half of the tree and the lights at the bottom were so bunched up.  Andrew would pull them off and I would put them back on.  Ha!  By the world's standards it was a sad tree but it was our tree and that is what mattered!

Deck The Halls-Part 1

Trimming the tree is a little more stressful than I had anticipated with an almost 2 year old.  Ha!  Our tree is older, the kind you organize by color and put in color order on a metal pole.  It never fails, one year we get something mixed up and our tree is a less than perfect shape. :)  It gives it character!

Andrew was crazy busy--to say the very least.  He had a fun time running the tree pieces back and forth, back and forth...and back and forth! I think this is the first year that Rory was helpful--he is 6 1/2 so it was fun to actually do something "with" him as opposed to "directing" him the entire time.  I'm looking forward to this phase of life with him.

The boys really enjoyed the time getting the tree out and together.  That is about as far as we got the first night, because, as always, half of our lights have burned out since last year.

I just love these boys and their spunkiness--it's hard to catch a good picture of Rory these days where he isn't talking or making a goofy face.  Can't get enough of these brown and blue eyed boys! 

Being December 1, we started our advent.  We haven't quite settled on a tradition quite yet but for now we've done chocolate calendars.

And...the most important picture.  Rory took this and was quite proud of his photography skills.  It's always interesting to me to see his perspective on life. :)

Thanksgiving 2016

Yes, I know this is out of order but better late than never. :)  This post also makes me realize I don't take enough pictures.  I found about 10 pictures from Thanksgiving Day--well, now I have a goal for 2017!

We had two Thanksgivings; one at our house with my side of the fan and the other with Josh's side.  Lots of turkey and yummy food!

Now that I have a few years of motherhood under my belt I've learned to come up with a few crafty things to help pass the time on holidays.  Josh worked so we didn't eat until about 5:00.  Rory and Marnie were busy making turkeys out of chocolate covered pretzels and oreos.  Delicious!

Overall, we had just had a nice couple days relaxing with family. :) And I cooked a fresh turkey for the first time.  I'm not sure I could tell a huge difference like people say but it was really yummy!

Christmas Trains!

In the past, Rory and Dad have always gone to see the train display each year.  With Rory in school, we decided to take Andrew out to have some one on one parent time.  Rory and Dad have a date set to go back just the two of them soon.







Our train display, is set up at the library downtown.  I've never been and it was an amazing building--so beautiful! Andrew enjoyed the trains--and we ended up being there at just the right time for preschool story time.  We had lots of fun!  The trains were pretty amazing--a very detailed set up!

I think, as parents, we've enjoyed creating and maintaining these simple traditions for our children.  We want them to look back and think of the fun things we did as a family.  Memories are much more precious than things.

...and sometimes...on the car ride home, you just need to hold your mama's hand. :) Love this sweet boy!  (For the record, I was not driving!)

Veteran's Day

We've always taught Rory to be respectful, especially of our veterans.  It's because of their sacrifices that we have freedom today.  This year Rory was so excited to bring "his veteran" to school!  I didn't get to attend but it sounds like a nice breakfast and then a ceremony.

Happy Veteran's Day to all who have served!

Elliot

Elliot.  The sweet little baby we will never meet here but will be in our hearts forever.

We found out in July that our family was growing and that we would soon be a party of 5.  We were thrilled!!  It took us a little while to decide whether or not we we would have another baby so we were beyond excited!  My first ob appointment was scheduled for mid August.  

The first 8 weeks of pregnancy went relatively well comparing my pregnancies with Rory and Andrew. I confided in a few friends that I was a little worried because my symptoms weren't very strong.  I wasn't that tired and only slightly nauseous occasionally.  It surely meant that I was having a girl since the symptoms were different.  

Josh and I were liked two giddy kids in a toy store at our first appointment but our hopes were quickly dashed. As soon as the ultrasound picture flashed I knew something wasn't right.  At 8 weeks, our baby should have looked like a little gummy bear but he wasn't.  Our doctor was serious but hopefully because we could see a heartbeat.  Elliot was measuring a solid 2 weeks behind.  We had a 50/50 shot; either my dates were wrong or this baby would not grow.  I was scheduled to come back in a week to measure growth.  

It was the longest week of my life.

Our next appointment would be one of the worst days of my life.  Elliot had not grown at all and there was no longer a heartbeat.  It's likely he/she died not too long after we saw him.  I just felt broken.  I wept.  I had grown 2 babies before so what was different now.    My doctor and her entire office were so compassionate.  I wouldn't have made it through that moment without them.

After trying to let my body miscarry on it's own, trying medicine to start the process, I ultimately had a d&c.  It was such a weird day.  I was looking forward to the sleep the medicine would bring because it had been weeks since I had decent night sleep but also hating it would be the last day Elliot would be with me. 

I'm beyond grateful for my amazing doctor, family and friends that stepped into support our family.  There were days I was truly getting by on the prayers of other people said on my behalf. 

In order for me to heal, I felt a strong desire to give our baby a name.  I had recently taken Rory to see the movie Pete's Dragon and fell in love with the name Elliot.  I knew it was the name for our baby.  That was before I knew anything was wrong.   I had read the book Heaven is For Real, and the boy described children there who were still waiting for names from their parents.  I didn't want our baby waiting for a name and it brought me healing to have a name and say it aloud.   Josh and I planted a tree in our backyard as memorial.  We call it "Elliot's Tree."  It is a maple and has beautiful bright red leaves in the fall.  I foresee many family pictures in front of Elliot's Tree.  I enjoy looking out at our backyard, seeing the swing set the boys play on and Elliot's tree just a few feet away.  

 

 

Miscarriage is a silent tragedy and produces silent grief.  It's not an experience that people talk about but it very common.  I was beyond blessed that I literally had a team of people rally around me and support me.  Even though it's been two months to the day, those people haven't left me.  It's a hurt that stays in your heart and doesn't go away.  I'm thankful that the hope we have ensures that someday we will meet Elliot and see his sweet little face.